A Letter to Sophia

Dear Sophia,

Tomorrow you are two and it feels like only yesterday that I found out I was expecting you.

The strange thing about the year between 1 and 2 is that you go from being a baby to a child. It happens imperceptibly, little bit at a time, everyday. One minute you are toddling and making noises and the next you are walking upright with the most breathtaking confidence. Then out of nowhere the babies squeaks start to disappear and in their place comes a moment, one night at bedtime, where you look at me and say 'one more book Mummy', and I am floored. So proud, yet so disbelieving.

Alongside the disbelief comes the fun of seeing your personality develop; seeing what things you like to do and a bit more about how you see the world. At the moment you are very interested in pens and writing/drawing (I hope this means you will be an illustrator, but of course you can be whatever you want). You are also showing strong climbing skills (Daddy will like this) and have impressive agility for your age. What I most love to watch is how affectionate you are. You are so friendly; taking as much joy in greeting people as you do in saying 'bye bye' in your sweet and cheerful voice. You are very fond of hugging your friends and mine, and in my moments of motherly doubt I hope this is because I've tried to hug you lots. I promise I always will.

This year has brought many moments I'm not so proud of (having a toddler is hard). Every time you have a tantrum (this does happen) I try again to find the compassion for what your little brain must be experiencing, even when it seems illogical to my 'grown-up mind'. I know for you it's very real and every day I ask for the strength to be compassionate, because you deserve that more than words can say.

It's been an interesting few months, meeting Arthur. I'm still not sure what you make of him but I hope you will be glad of his company soon, and best of friends one day. Amidst the overly aggressive 'affection', I see that you love him. I see it when he cries whilst I'm in the other room and I come in to find you comforting him and my heart could burst with pride.

Because of you I strive to my best self every day. You inspire me to be the best role model I can be. Mostly you remind me how much I have to be grateful for. Thanks for making me a mother Sophia. What an adventure it is!

Mummy x

Photo by Little White Photography

Emily Rollings